10 Things to Consider About First Looks
I’ll be honest, finding an appropriate title for this post was pretty difficult. After doing more research chatting with past and current clients and diving into wedding planning articles on the internet, I noticed a word repeating itself constantly: “should". I can’t tell you the number of articles I saw titled “Reasons You SHOULD Consider a First Look” or “ “SHOULD you have a first look on your wedding day?” Someone wise once told me… don’t “should” all over yourself. It’s one of my favorite quotes for several reasons… but mainly because it is a gentle reminder to listen to your gut.
Here’s the crux of it, there is no should on your wedding day. You will make hundreds of decisions by the time your wedding day arrives, and this like all of them is a choice. Sometimes when we need assistance in making choices, we seek out opinions. I’m a big fan of them, but I’m also someone who has to remind myself frequently that opinions are just words based from preferences and experiences, and ultimately you will create your own based on your decision.
With all that being said, for anyone on the fence of whether or not to have a first look, I gotchu! And so do the couples I have had the pleasure of working with. I hope these thoughts can guide you to whatever choice is right for you and your boo.
More, more, more about those first looks
An intimate moment before the craziness begins
“It was more intimate without a crowd. It gave us a chance to do (awesome) photos before the ceremony.”
I’ve heard this sentiment repeated A LOT. Seeing your person for the first time the day of your wedding is emotional. More often than not there are tears, a stunned moment of awe, and some booty grabs. It’s real sweet, and maybe something you would rather share with no audience (besides your photographer who is so low key and promises to keep it cool). A huge reason why I have heard some couples opt out of a first look is that they are worried they won’t be as emotional walking down the aisle. However, I’m happy to report that couples I have followed up with have said that this was not the case for them, and that they felt like it was an entirely different type of emotional altogether.
More time for couples photos
“The pictures from the first look are precious and priceless, and I love them so much!”
Yup, you heard it right. There’s something extra sweet about getting those few minutes alone, and getting to capture that feeling when it’s hot off the press. By seeing each other earlier in the day, you can get a head start on all these photos that you’ve been so excited about. This typically means getting the majority of your formal photos done prior to your ceremony, which means after the ceremony, you have more time to party with your guests. Yay cocktails!
More time spent together on the wedding day
“I decided to have a first look because these 5 to 10 minutes are going to be the ONLY alone time we get with each other all night until the reception is over.”
This seems like a weird thing to think about, but wedding days go by in the blink of an eye, and sometimes with days running late, you’ll notice that a good chunk of your day has gone by and you still haven’t seen your human yet! Wedding days get crazy busy, imagine this: it’s after the ceremony and your guests are SO excited to congratulate you, so as you are saying hello to great aunt Mary, cousin Tom steals you away for a congratulatory moment but during that moment all your old college friends pass by and and are dying for a quick photo and before you know it, it’s time for dinner. Everyone’s day varies in so many ways, but sometimes your first look is the only chance to be alone your entire wedding day, unless your carve some time out during your reception (sunset is a great time for this).
Get some tears out before hand, time to touch up!
“I didn’t want to be a crying little baby when she came walking down the aisle… I still was though.”
With tears comes some puffiness, redness, running mascara (if there is a “should” on your wedding day… waterproof mascara is that), the benefit of getting some of those out beforehand is that you have time to touch up before your guests see you- yay! Of course how much this matters varies from person to person, but nonetheless having a second to prep before the ceremony begins is always a benefit.
Keeping with tradition
The tradition and emotion of the first look coming down the aisle
“Having a more traditional ceremony and wedding was always really important to me, I think a big part of that is the big reveal coming down the aisle. I’ve chosen a song to make it a really dramatic entrance, my goal is to make everyone cry, including the groom!”
Traditions have stood the test of time, because they represent years of meaning and memories, that have been repeated over generations. They are the lens used when imagining those BIG wedding day moments. The first look of a groom or bride walking down the aisle is a BIG one. Oh man, nothing like a good dose of anticipation to set the mood. Seeing partners react to each other walking down the aisle for the first time will never get old. This is your moment to really set the scene. Put on your favorite song, and create this mental picture in your head that you have for a lifetime. Build up is not a bad thing, and can really add to the emotion of seeing each other for the first time. You have hired a bomb photographer to capture all that for you, so know that there will be no shortage of reaction shots.
More time to get ready and soak it in
Wedding days have the potential to get SO busy, and there’s nothing worse than feeling rushed through that. When you are opting out of a first look, you are also giving yourself more time to prepare in other ways i.e. making that hair PERF, finishing your vows (it’s a thing), spending time with your closest friends and family, there are so many quiet moments in the getting ready process, and ones that people may benefit from prior to the ceremony which leads me to my next point…
Anxiety
“When we were planning we decided to keep it simple and traditional. Later I realized deep down I wanted it simple for the fact that I would have been so anxious and nervous to have that moment. I also remember that we’re together forever so I get to say that kind of stuff whenever I want (regardless of a first look).”
Hi, yes, raise your hand if big emotional events make you anxious (this can be a good thing!). If you are a human with feelings this applies to you. It can be so nerve-racking to know that your partner is waiting around the corner for you. I’ve also heard some couples mention that they felt additional pressure from social media (yes, you Instagram…) to have those “super emotional first look photos.” Hey, we’ve all been there, and there’s a great way to relieve that pressure, don’t have a first look!
First Look Alternatives
A moment back to back
I remember this moment from Stephanie and Austin’s wedding so clearly. It actually was the first time I have had a couple who wanted to share a “first touch.” We found a wall that allowed us to set them up perfectly, and took a step back to let them share a few words and hand squeezes before the ceremony. This was such an intimate and perfect way to give them a moment to check in, while saving the big reveal for the ceremony. It’s still one of my favorite moments to date.
First look with friends
I have noticed more and more couples opting to do a first look with their wedding party, and it’s pretty clear why. Yes, you may have been getting ready together all day, but something really sinks in when you step outside for the first time in your wedding dress/ tux/ super sassy pantsuit. Hey, your people are your people because they love you, and usually they are your #1 hype crew, so you know nothing will make you feel quite as good as watching their jaws drop the first time they see you ready to walk down the aisle.
First look with family
I think these sweet somethings speak for themselves more often than not. Taking the time to be intentional about creating moments and memories with some of the most special people in your life is always worth it.
To wrap this lil something up…
I hope if you take anything away from this it is this… this day is about you and your person. A lot will fade over time; hey, you may not remember the color of your wedding napkins are in three years (doesn’t mean it wasn’t important day of!), but you catch my drift. Something that will not fade is the memory of how you felt. Plan the day you have always imagined, create space for the moments you have dreamt about, and remember the reason you’re doing this in the first place. All together now… MAWIAGE.